sometimes i just wonder, why did i let go beautiful stuffs in my life....
My personality of asking myself to stay cheerful when things not right seems that its good and allows everything be so positive. But now, i realize, yes i finally do realize, it is also making me to let things go off from my life easily...
Lots questions run in my mind when people telling me that they will definitely get what they want, wondering what did i actually try to hold on? Did i actually fight for once to get what i want? No,
I've learned... or should i say i regretted? Isit too late? and i guess so.. Thinking maybe for once, i have to seriously fight and hold on to what i want. Somehow, every time i tried, i broke my heart again and again #stupidme. Back again, my confident getting worst, felt so breathless holding it on, *oh i dislike the feeling* wondering is it right to hold on, should i hold it on... Is that a sign showing that i'm weak? I don't know..
I'm not sure how long can i stand it. I will still try, maybe till the day i'm totally exhausted, i'll leave it, could be few days, few weeks, few months, few years or even till I die..
i want to runaway
to far far away
or i call it travel
to somewhere people can't find me
take a few weeks/months break
ignore everything for a moment
the feeling is just so great :)
it's always my dream.
and i'll make sure that i'll make this comes true.